Chapter Three. Or chapter one million (life is too short to keep track)

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I quit my steady job. What?! Wow.

I have wanted to do this for so long and then one day, I couldn’t face going back into that office. What was supposed to be a TEMPORARY solution until we were on our feet after a move back to New Jersey turned into a quasi-career. I was promoted, received multiple raises and given more and more responsibility. I hadn’t picked up my camera for weeks, sometimes months on end. I was increasingly frustrated and couldn’t understand why. All of a sudden one little thing happened and that was it. I called my husband from the office crying and said I just can’t do it anymore. I really, really need to get out. “So quit. Right. Now.” was his reply. Rational, worrying me thought how could I do that? I mean, really – HOW? I couldn’t just leave right then and there, could I? It was apparent that this job was taking a toll on my marriage and other relationships, of which I was completely unaware. We hung up the phone and with complete trust in my husband, I typed my resignation letter and handed it in the next morning.

I gave a month – A MONTH! notice.

I thought that was a lot of time, but felt it was the best thing to do. Within that month I stopped. I stopped giving myself away for free. I stopped working late and not taking lunches. I stopped feeling bad for things which I never should have felt bad for in the first place. I just stopped. It was liberating! My last day I wasn’t afraid for the future and I had absolutely no regrets. I wasn’t even worried about money. Who cares? It’s just money. Fortunately we’ve been saving and planning for years, so basic needs like food and electric can be met! I would never recommend someone do this all willy nilly without emotional and financial security. That’s just me though, I’m a worrier. I’m also scared. I get inside my head and psyche myself out.

Not this time.

The first thing I did was start exercising more. Not that I didn’t before, but I took it up a few notches. It helped my focus and self esteem. I continued to leave the house early in the morning and went to classes which kept a good routine. I met up with friends who I unintentionally stopped seeing since I put so much of myself into a job which I wasn’t happy doing. I went to a driving range. A driving range! I highly recommend this for anyone! It was a blast! I was horrible (I broke that wall between the green squares with the club) it was wonderful! I replanted my balcony garden for the fall, carved pumpkins, started meditating and made new friends. I laughed. I laughed out loud, harder than I had in years. That surprised me and made me sad and seriously angry with myself. I let everything go. I spent more time with my grandmother, my family and my friends.

Seeing as this seems like it is going to be a really long post, I’ll continue on for part two, possibly even three!

Stay tuned!

xx Lindsy

 

 

 

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